For the firstborn, the announcement that a little brother will soon arrive can be a small trauma, even when he has been the one who has been wanting it and asking for it for months. In fact, often the child immediately realizes that the domestic balance will undergo changes and that the time that mom and dad will be able to dedicate to him will end up being reduced. Thus, joy can be accompanied by small or large jealousies, new whims and perhaps some setbacks, such as demanding to be fed or wetting the bed. To make the months of waiting as serene as possible, try to experience them as a real preparatory phase, accompanying your child on the magical and conscious discovery of the happy event that is taking place.
SOON YOU WILL BE TWO
Now it is certain, you will have a second child. How to tell the first? Provided that he is not yet too small to understand, it is good to immediately communicate the news to the eldest son, trying to make him share in the great joy that the family is experiencing. It will be important that he fully understands what is about to happen, namely that a new baby will soon arrive, who will have specific needs and who, especially at the beginning, will require a lot of attention and care from mum and dad. At the same time, it will be essential to explain to your child that the affection you have for him will never fail: that the parents' heart, instead of dividing, will double to love both children at the same time, as he once explained to me. a dear friend and dual mom. These speeches will be repeated over and over again throughout the pregnancy: they will be key moments in preparation for the event, and the growing bump will help the eldest son understand that, in there, his little brother is also gearing up to come into the world .
USEFUL STRATEGIES
During the months of pregnancy, review the photos and videos of his first months of life with the baby: it will be easier for him to imagine what his little brother on the way will be like and what needs he may have, starting from the fact that he will not be born big and ready ' for playing. Another excellent idea is to read stories on the subject together, there are many good titles in the library. A booklet that enjoys great success among children is part of the series dedicated to Mouse Tip, 'But I wanted a little brother': a short illustrated story that well represents the expectation and hopes of the mouse, then the frustration for the arrival of a little sister and, finally, the discovery that, on balance, being his older brother is not bad at all. To involve the child, you can suggest that he practices with a doll: «You see, the baby brother on the way will look something like this. Let's try to change his diaper, feed him, put him to sleep". Through the game – which also applies to boys – the child will train himself, concretely and above all mentally, to the idea. And when the little brother finally arrives, let yourself be really helped, albeit with due caution: the child will have fun, feel responsible and be proud to be the eldest.
LUCKY THERE IS DAD 
There will be times during the nine months of waiting when the mother may not be fit enough to devote all of her energies to her firstborn. This is when the father's role will intensify: he will be the one to play ball, read fairy tales, accompany his son to kindergarten or to the park; he will be the life of the party. And this will also be true after the birth, when the mother is busy managing the baby. A task, however, that it will always be good to divide between the partners, so that even the mother can quickly return to the fantastic 'player' of the past.
by Sara Lanfranchini (excerpt from the magazine Nascere Mamma | Winter)