Mom, hear me cry
During the first three months of life, crying is the first and most natural manifestation of the child's moods, which has not yet developed other communication methods. For this reason, the episodes are also quite recurring: because crying is physiologically part of its development process. In other words, it is a 'phase', and there is no infant who does not go through it, although only for some it is accompanied by acute, lasting and, for the parents, even destabilizing crises.
The causes
Excluding medical disorders, generally the child cries when he is hungry or thirsty, when he is tired, hot or cold, when he is unwell or lonely and wants to get attention, when a new tooth comes in, or simply he has a dirty diaper. And then there are colic, which is associated with particularly insistent and frequent crying. For new parents, navigating through all these possibilities is often a challenge. But the mere fact that they come to console and care for their child is a fundamental experience for the newborn both for his survival and for the development of self-confidence.
Malaise, tiredness, fa me, desire for pampering. There are many reasons that can lead children to cry, sometimes for hours. Among the causes most feared by parents, colic: 'inconsolable' tears and screams, in front of which mums and dads feel helpless. But the remedies exist.
On the other hand, experts argue, reacting instinctively to the child's signals is an innate gift in every parent, even if the
the risk of making a mistake is always lurking: it happens to be late in responding as to overwhelm the little one with kindness. But even 'mistakes' are needed, to get to know each other. In the meantime, your child will become an expert in the art of making yourself understood on the fly.
First, remember: the older the baby gets, the more the crying decreases. Generally, the most acute phase is recorded around
sixth week of life, with a tendency to cry more in the evening, when the baby is more tired. From that moment on, however, the frequency decreases from month to month (albeit with the necessary differences according to the children), while the 'informative content' of which the screams are the bearer increases. Basically, the child learns to express wishes and needs in an ever clearer way, but also learns to use alternative communication tools, such as smiling, making faces and soon even babbling.
You are not alone
Don't despair and don't think 'I'm a bad parent' just because you can't calm your child's crying right away. Instead, seek advice and accept help from family and friends. Just think that abroad, especially in northern European countries, there are special schools created to support parents in the arduous, splendid task of becoming mothers and fathers.
Methods Calm Crying
■ Contact. Hold the baby close to your chest and cradle him; let him nap in your arms; prefer bands and fanny packs to the pram.
■ Rituals. There are many 'tricks' to calm him down: sing, whisper, walk holding him leaning on his shoulder, swing him, wrap him in a blanket, distract him with a music box or 'white noise' (that of a dishwasher on, for example); in extreme cases, a car ride may be worthwhile. As soon as you identify the most effective one for you, turn it into a small reassuring ritual.
■ Help. Grandparents, husbands, wives, uncles can relieve you of part of your tasks, especially when you are particularly tired.
